You are probably already learning that it’s easy for things to go sideways at home after so many hours, days and weeks in COVID lockdown. So, I wanted to share some advice from one of my go-to researchers in couples therapy. Marriage expert Esther Perel provides insights in her latest blog into the ways this pandemic impacts our sense of identity in so many ways and how that can impact our relationships (it doesn’t help if there were already problems before this). She rightly recognizes the way many of us have, without much warning, had our daily roles change during COVID-19 — we are often full time caregivers, teachers, workers, partners, stay at homes, and more. She offers suggestions to help us monitor what we are going through during a day and what we need — so we can more effectively turn ‘toward’ instead of ‘against’ our partners or other significant people in our lives. There are many things we cannot control during this pandemic — but there are many things we can.