You might be doing everything you’re supposed to do. You’re productive. Insightful. Responsible. You’ve read the books, tried the strategies, practised deep breathing, maybe even done therapy before — yet you still feel anxious MUCH of the time.
For many people, anxiety isn’t a lack of skills. It’s a nervous system that learned early on to stay alert in order to survive.
As an anxiety therapist in Hamilton working with clients across Ontario, I sometimes hear: “I feel like I shouldn’t feel anxious or that my anxiety doesn’t make sense — but it feels so real.” When people talk about “their anxiety feeling real”, they are usually referring to how it shows up in their bodies. And that’s an important distinction.
Anxiety Is Not Just a Thought Problem
While anxiety involves thoughts, it doesn’t originate there. Anxiety lives in the body and nervous system. Research now indicates that anxiety disorders (not everyone with anxiety has an anxiety disorder) is shaped by multiple psychological perspectives and that both genetic (biological) and environmental factors contribute to the risk of developing an anxiety disorder, and that risk factors vary.
In psychotherapy, we often explore, in part, environmental factors — where anxiety develops in response to experiences where safety, predictability, emotional attunement, or support may have been inconsistent or unavailable.
Your system may have learned:
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To stay vigilant
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To anticipate problems
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To avoid mistakes at all costs
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To manage emotions alone
No amount of logic can override a nervous system that doesn’t feel safe.
High-Functioning Anxiety Is Still Anxiety
Many people with anxiety are highly capable. In fact, anxiety may be the reason they function so well. It drives performance, responsibility, and achievement — but at a cost.
High-functioning anxiety often looks like:
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Chronic tension or restlessness
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Difficulty relaxing
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Overthinking interactions
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Burnout that doesn’t resolve
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Feeling “on edge” even during calm moments
Therapy becomes less about calming anxiety down and more about understanding what it’s been holding together.
A Trauma-Informed Lens Changes Everything
When anxiety is approached through a trauma-informed and attachment-based lens, the question shifts from “How do I stop this?” to “What does my system need in order to feel safer?”
In my work as a psychotherapist in Hamilton, rather than pushing anxiety away, we explore:
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When it first became necessary
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What it protects you from feeling
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How it shows up in relationships and work
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What safety actually feels like for you
Over time, anxiety no longer needs to work as hard.
Therapy That Goes Beneath Symptoms
If you’re looking for anxiety therapy in Ontario that goes beyond symptom management, working with a therapist who approaches anxiety through a trauma-informed, and attachment lens, which can make a meaningful difference.
I offer in-person therapy in Hamilton, Burlington, Niagara and across the GTHA. I offer online therapy across Ontario. I offer a 15-20 minute, free phone consultation. Please connect here to send me an email to connect.
Disclaimer: This page is meant for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy or medical advice. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, reach out to your therapist, doctor, or crisis lines for support.
