It is not unusual for couples to come to counselling over challenges with their sex life. Often this is a result of discrepancies in expectations, sex drive, or even changing feelings toward a partner. However, anxiety is another culprit. This can manifest through perfectionist tendencies that interfere with the ability to be present and enjoy moments of intimacy. Perfectionism in pretty much every context, does not come from a place of strength but in feelings of lack or deficiencies. In the case of sex, this perfectionism could relate to poor body image or the prospect of disappointing others. Unfortunately, the messages we get through media, pornography, our parents, friends, and others can lead us to believe that ‘the perfect body’ or ‘perfect lover’ exists. These ideas are unrealistic and a recipe for disaster in our romantic lives. Worse, when relationships fail, we may blame these so-called imperfections instead of the anxiety that impacts our ability to let walls down, play, and learn sexually. This interesting article expands on perfectionism and sex and things to consider if anxiety and perfectionism is interfering in your romantic relationships.
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