I have noticed a casual (and often insensitive) familiarity in the way people are engaging with each other on online dating sites these days. These connections start fast and often end fast (think: ghosting).
It’s no wonder then that with the casual nature of so much online dating, that if people have been out of committed relationships for a time, they can forget how to be in relationship — which, for those who want monogamy, involves ending that texting and swiping, which can be habitual, casual and compulsive — it involves shutting that down and tying up loose ends. And that can be hard since many habits, often tied to boredom or anxiety, are hard to break.
Conversely, many people who have been in long term relationships, forget how to casually date — finding themselves feeling too needy and unfamiliar with the new rules (which change over time). This leaves them feeling unsure and confused about how to behave or what is to be expected.
This article speaks offers some insight and gives some clues about rules and barriers to making the transition. I work with people looking to be their authentic selves as they navigate these transitions. If you need help, please reach out.