Burnout is a word we’ve all heard—exhaustion, detachment, inefficiency. But for many people, it goes deeper than just being “tired.” It carries a hidden weight. A kind of invisible burden that doesn’t just drain energy but erodes identity, meaning, and emotional resilience.
Especially for caregivers, healthcare workers, teachers, therapists, social workers, and even parents (and add to that parents sandwiched between children and their own parents), burnout often intertwines with what psychologists and trauma researchers call moral injury—the experience of being unable to act in alignment with one’s values due to systemic constraints or chronic overwhelm (consider a parent who wants to respond to their children in one way, but their exhaustion leaves them so depleted, they react in a way that then evokes shame. So many examples of this). When your heart tells you to care, connect, or show up—but your body and mind can’t catch up—this dissonance can be devastating.
Understanding Burnout Through an Attachment & Trauma Lens
At its core, burnout is not just a matter of poor time management or lack of self-care. It’s often a relational and systemic wound. When we’ve grown up in environments where over-functioning was necessary to feel safe, loved, or accepted, we internalize the idea that rest equals failure. In emotionally focused therapy (EFT), we see this as an attachment adaptation—your nervous system may be wired to prioritize others’ needs at the cost of your own.
In trauma-informed care, we recognize that burnout often stems from prolonged emotional stress, especially when empathy becomes a liability instead of a strength. Compassion fatigue, secondary traumatic stress, and the sense of moral betrayal can create a storm of internal conflict—leading to shame, numbness, hypervigilance, or deep sadness.
What Clients Often Say About Burnout
“I’m just so tired—but I can’t stop.”
“I feel like I’m failing at everything, even though I’m doing my best.”
“I used to care so much… now I just feel nothing.”
“I can’t shake the guilt of not being able to help more.”
Clients often describe burnout not just as exhaustion, but as losing parts of themselves—their joy, purpose, or even their sense of self-worth. The internal narrative can be harsh: “Why can’t I handle this?” or “What’s wrong with me?” These beliefs are often rooted in early attachment experiences and a lifetime of internalized expectations.
Burnout as a Moral Injury
Coined in military psychology, “moral injury” has now entered mainstream mental health discussions—especially for frontline professionals during crises like the pandemic. It occurs when you are forced to act (or prevented from acting) in ways that betray your values.
For example:
-
A nurse unable to give patients the care they deserve due to staff shortages.
-
A teacher pressured to push students academically despite their emotional struggles.
-
A parent giving everything to their family but silently deteriorating inside.
This disconnect between what you want to do and what you can do becomes a moral injury—a wound to the soul, not just the psyche.
How Therapy Can Help Heal Burnout
Therapy offers a compassionate, non-judgmental space to process burnout through a mindfulness-based, emotionally focused, and self-compassionate lens. There are many approaches to dealing with burnout. Here are just a few:
1. Identifying Core Needs and Values
We help you name what matters most to you, gently uncovering the hidden beliefs or attachment wounds that drive your burnout patterns.
2. Reconnecting with the Body
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) supports you in slowing down, grounding in the present, and noticing the signs of emotional exhaustion before it escalates.
3. Practicing Self-Compassion
Using tools from Dr. Kristin Neff’s research, we explore how to treat yourself with the same kindness you offer others. You are human, not a machine. And healing begins when we believe we are worthy of care.
4. Creating Safe Boundaries
We support you in setting boundaries rooted in your values, not fear. This isn’t about saying “no” for the sake of it, but about saying “yes” to yourself in a sustainable way.
Helpful Resources
-
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily & Amelia Nagoski
-
The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté
-
Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff
-
Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown
These books can offer insight into the science of stress, emotion, and healing—beautiful companions on your journey back to yourself.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Human
Burnout doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means something in your world needs to shift. And sometimes, that shift starts by reaching out for support.
If you’re in Ontario and struggling with burnout or moral injury, therapy can help you reconnect with your values, your boundaries, and your sense of wholeness. You don’t have to carry this secret weight alone.
🌿 Ready for Change?
Let’s begin the journey toward healing, together.
Visit www.ontariotherapist.com
#BurnoutRecovery, #EmotionalExhaustion, #MoralInjury, #TherapyForBurnout, #OnlyHumanTherapist, #MentalHealthOntario, #TraumaInformedTherapy, #SelfCompassionMatters, #MBCT, #MindfulHealing, #AttachmentTherapy, #BurnoutSupport, #CompassionFatigue, #OntarioTherapist, #TherapyHeals, #YouAreNotAlone, #EmotionalWellbeing
