September can look exciting from the outside. New classes. A new apartment. A campus full of people. A first year away from home. A return to university after a summer that was supposed to help you “reset.”
And yet, for some emerging adults, the closer September gets, the worse they feel. And now we are in it — second week in! Things you forgot at home, how to navigate the campus or online system, finding books at the library, and on and on. That can leave anyone feeling anxious!
Except that the anxiety may not even sound or look like anxiety. It can look like procrastination, irritability, insomnia, stomach problems, overthinking, wanting to cancel plans, or suddenly questioning every decision that got you here.
Sometimes the thought underneath it is not “I’m afraid of school.”
It is: “What if I can’t handle being an adult?”
That is a different question.
The transition into post-secondary life asks a lot of a young person at once. You may be managing academic expectations, friendships, romantic relationships, money, work, dating, food, laundry, transportation, health appointments and decisions that used to be made with a parent somewhere in the background.
And nobody hands you a manual for becoming independent.
This is one reason back-to-school anxiety can feel so disproportionate. Your nervous system may be responding not simply to a new semester, but to uncertainty, responsibility and the loss of familiar structures.
For some young adults, there is another layer: comparison.
You look around and it seems as though everyone else knows what they are doing. Someone already has their friend group. Someone has a summer internship. Someone seems confident walking into class. Someone else is talking about graduate school as though they have their entire life mapped out.
Meanwhile, you are wondering whether you belong.
Research on the transition to university has found that anxiety and depressive symptoms can be significant during the first year, and that a sense of connection to the university community can be protective. That matters because belonging is not simply a nice extra. Feeling connected can change how manageable uncertainty feels.
There is also a developmental reality here that gets missed. Emerging adulthood is not childhood with more freedom. It is a period of significant identity development, increasing autonomy and changing relationships with family. You are becoming more yourself while simultaneously figuring out what “yourself” actually means.
No wonder it can be messy.
In therapy, I am often interested in what the anxiety is trying to tell us rather than treating anxiety as an enemy that simply needs to disappear.
Is this fear about failure?
Not belonging?
Being alone?
Disappointing your parents?
Making the wrong choice?
Not being as capable as everyone thinks you are?
Or perhaps the deeper fear is that if you struggle, it will mean something terrible about you.
That is where anxiety can become more than a school-year problem. It can become a story about worth, competence and belonging.
The goal of therapy is not to convince a young adult that everything will be easy. It is to understand what is happening underneath the anxiety and help create more room for uncertainty, self-awareness, connection and agency.
Sometimes the most important shift is realizing that feeling anxious at the beginning of a new chapter does not necessarily mean you chose the wrong chapter.
It may simply mean you are standing at the edge of something that matters.
And sometimes, that is exactly where anxiety gets loudest.
Back-to-school anxiety can also expose an old tension between dependence and independence. A young adult may desperately want reassurance and, in the next breath, feel irritated by a parent’s questions. They may want someone to know they are struggling without wanting to be “handled.” That push-pull is not necessarily immaturity. It can be part of learning how to have an adult relationship with the people who raised you.
For parents and young adults alike, this transition can be an opportunity to renegotiate that relationship rather than simply survive September.
If back-to-school anxiety, depression, university stress, identity questions or the transition into adulthood are becoming harder to manage, I offer therapy for older adolescents and young adults in-person in Hamilton and online across Ontario. I also offer therapy for relationships, dating, and families if you feel your anxiety (or your family’s) might be making this journey more difficult). Explore my Anxiety Therapy page and Individual Therapy services, or contact me for a free 15-minute consultation by phone.
Disclaimer: This article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for psychotherapy, medical advice or individualized mental health care. Reading this article does not establish a therapeutic relationship.
Reviews: Verified client feedback and Professional Endorsements can be found on Luminos and Psychology Today
About Cortney: Cortney Pasternak is a Registered Psychotherapist offering warm, direct, trauma-informed and relational therapy for older adolescents, adults, couples and families. She offers in-person therapy in Hamilton and online therapy across Ontario.
#BackToSchoolAnxiety, #YoungAdultAnxiety, #EmergingAdulthood, #UniversityAnxiety, #StudentMentalHealth, #AnxietyTherapy, #YoungAdultTherapy, #TherapyOntario, #HamiltonTherapist, #MentalHealthOntario
